Nutz

Occasionally things come into fashion that at best serve no purpose and make the user look a bit odd and at worst are offensive. A neck tie is the former, a bow tie is the latter. Jorts are the former, butt cleavage is the latter. Water bras are the former, nipple enhancers () are the latter. Fake bullet hole stickers for your car are the former, fake human testicles that dangle from the rear of your car are the latter.

Fake Human Testicles That Dangle From The Rear Of Your Car would be a catchy name, but instead they used Nutz. Let's go through the list of things we do for fashion that don't make sense.

Serve No Purpose
A truck is clearly a vehicle made for a man. Not just a man, but a man that does man things. You won't see many business men in NYC driving a man truck around because they spend their time picking up lattes not picking up bales of hay. When you purchase a pick up truck you are in essence screaming, "I am so much of a man, a fully closed in vehicle cannot contain my manliness". There is nothing else you need to add to your truck. Everything else just makes it overboard. Big tires? Good luck not looking like a little kid climbing into your man truck. Lowering your truck? Let's see you not look like an idiot going 2 miles an hour at an angle over speed bumps? A grill protector? Yes, that would be useful for bumper cars but serves little purpose for hauling away the bear you just killed with a knife.

Attaching plastic human testicles to the back of your truck? What purpose could this possibly send? Is it like a male peacock that spreads his extravagant feathers to lure in lady peacocks? Maybe so, but I do not think testicles are one of the top reasons a girl falls for a guy, or even one of the bottom reasons. Is it trying to let everyone know that, "Hey, a man drives this truck!"? Like I already said, a truck is the one vehicle that everyone assumes a man is the driver. If you bought a bright yellow VW Bug then maybe Nutz would make sense, but not on a truck.

So, Nutz serve no purpose.

Make the User Look Odd
Styles have slowly changed over many year to where women show more of their legs, stomach, arms, neck, feet, chest, and bottom. Men's fashion has changed to where we show more neck, a little more arm, and a little more leg if the weather is hot enough. Fashion shows that the people do not really want to see too much of the male body. The one thing that every single fashion that has ever gained popularity in America has in common is it's ability to cover up the male genitalia. Even the male swim suit has the shorts like material on the outside and netting on the inside.

The people have spoken. Nutz should stay behind at least two layers of fabric at all times.

Offensive
Movies come out every week that contain a female baring her breasts to anyone willing to go to the local theater and spend a small fortune on a ticket and popcorn. When a movie decides to include a nude man the media acts like they are killing babies in the film. Look up Forgetting Sarah Marshall controversy on google, it's all about the male goods. Borat was known for being a jew hating racist, but most of the controversy for the film came from the male nudity. Eastern Promises was one of the best films to come out in 2007 but was often referred to as "The Weiner Fight movie" Male genitalia is offensive, plain and simple.

Nutz serve no purpose, make the driver look like a tool, and offend everyone except other tool bags. In conclusion, I leave you with this....



Side Note: If there are any big scary guys who have Nutz on their truck reading this then I take all of this back and Nutz are super classy.