DREAM ONE:
My first dream has been with me since I was a child, but is now the rarest of the three, and I am pretty sure it was spawned on by this Ghostbusters figurine.
“Okay, in retrospect he looks pretty silly but I was five years old and it was scary, okay!”
From an early age I was scared of the fantastical and unafraid of the logical. I never imagined a scary child rapist outside of my window, instead I would imagine that there was a critter from the movie Critters inside of the toilet and due to that I was scared to sit on the toilet.
The dream is always the same and it is always brief….and by brief I mean I end up peeing in my boxer briefs. I am running through an old cemetery and the fog is mega heavy. A real life werewolf is chasing me and he is closing in quickly when I stumble upon a greenhouse. This makes sense because ALL cemeteries have greenhouses, right? So anyways, I run into this completely glass greenhouse and shut the door behind me just in time for the werewolf to slam into the door and then I wake up. I wake up at the exact point every single time without fail and I find myself longing to have this dream again just so that I can find out what happens after that point!
I guess it is obvious that the dream might mean I am running from something? But what?! I started having this dream when I was five, so what stresses did I have at that age? What could I be figuratively running from? Kindergarten? Swim lessons?
I fear I may never learn what this dream means, but I my bigger fear is that my wife may leave me if she has to change our wet sheets another time!
DREAM TWO:
This dream I call my Shooting Blanks dream and it started in high school but became more prevalent once I married. In the dream someone or a group of someones break into my home. No worries, I grab my trusty gun from my bed side table and lay into the fool or group of fools. My aim is sure. The gun shots angry blasts of flame from my hand and nothing happens. The someone or someones keep coming at me to do harm to me and my family.
Super.
No recovering from that kind of dream. Katherine now has to change our sheets and hold me as I weep into her arms.
DREAM THREE:
If my other dreams were nightmares then Dream Three is a night terror. I have had it since very early on in my marriage and it is truly frightening. The dream finds me no longer married to Kat but instead leaving her and choosing to marry one of my long term ex girlfriends. You may wonder at this point why I would share this dream because it would clearly anger Kat. But the caveat is that even IN the dream I am terrified of what I am doing. Even in the dream I am crying and losing control of my bladder because I don’t want to be with my ex and I deeply want to be with my wife. Even in the dream I am counting the ways I love my wife.
When I wake from this dream Kat truly has a workload ahead of her. Wet sheets, a sobbing husbands, and vomit covered walls. No good.
But the upside is when I do have this dream I am super nice to Kat for at least 48 hours after because I am in a constant reminder state of what my life could have been and just how awesome Kat is.
So, I may never be able to interpret these dreams but Dream Three just makes me thankful that I have a wife who is willing to love me through my oddness. I can then forget about the jacked up stuff that happens when my eyes shut and focus on the jacked up stuff that happens while my eyes are open.
