Shaggy Hair, A&F Cologne, and Plaid

Working in business I am often plagued by a specific question that eventually comes up in all business circles. “So, do you play golf”. I am torn because I have two options when asked this question.

The first option is a simple no. No, I do not play golf.

This option typically leads to aghast looks from my business counterparts. Working for one of the local big boy corporations, or at a bank, or as a salesman, or as a doctor makes days on the course a necessity. It isn’t a choice, everyone does it. Working at Subway I am just enough not a typical business person that golf never arises as a work outing. I suppose I could get aggressive with my answer to keep the aghast looks at bay. But that seems uncalled for. I could go off on a rant about how anything that not only allows but almost demands alcohol consumption during cannot be a sport. But I do not.

The other option that I am always tempted to go with but would only garner looks even more confused from my counterparts is that yes, I used to play golf every weekend at the  Northern Little League baseball complex and I once got a hole in one on Rick’s Lung.

That answer requires a back story and back stories are not good for short conversations with business counterparts. But you know what they are good for? They are good for minimally read blogs!

There are different friends that come in and out of this story but the one who was there throughout the entire experience was Jon Keller. I honestly don’t know why we began this tradition but somehow we did and it is such a pure, beautiful memory it almost seems like it took place in a Wes Anderson movie.

Northern Little League baseball field’s became our clubhouse. We discovered that on Sunday mornings from about 10:30am until noon the place was deserted. No little kids running around crying while their dad’s screamed their disappointment at them, no somewhat scary girls playing softball, no umpires to chase us away, and sadly no sweet smells of chicken fingers and popcorn.

Just an empty baseball complex and us.

This could have been fun enough. We could have played homerun derby, or wiffle ball, or wall ball over on the concession stand. But somehow this became our golf course. The Northern Little League Golf Course.

This little club took some serious devotion for college students. Annoyingly we were not allowed by our parents to simply skip church and play our little game with a good nights rest (looking back, good call parents, thank you!). So we as 19 and 20 year old boys had to plan ahead. We had to go to bed at a decent hour, probably 3 am instead of our typical 4am, so that we could get up at 8:30 in time to make it to the 9 o’clock church service.

Most guys our age dressed rather casual to church. Not us. We had a golf outing at the prestigious Northern Little League to attend after. We would get dressed up in our khakis or plaid pants, loafers, and pastel colored button down polos, and after we would throw on a visor for effect.

So, this took work! 

Church would end and off we went. We would arrive at Northern Little League Golf Course around 10:15 and begin our round of golf. Jon Keller, myself, and a ragtag of friends like William Hawk, Matt Phillips, Brian Howard, and Jeff Brannan would pile out of my Xterra. A horrible clash of plaids,stripes, and shaggy hair. Once lugging our golf bags out of the back of the SUV we would stop and look around us. Taking in the surroundings. The beautiful blue skies with wisps of clouds floating by, the tall pines standing proud and rightly so as there soil was red Georgia clay, the smell of the spring air and a bit too much of Abercrombie & Fitch cologne. It was a perfect day for golf.

Now, at a baseball field they don’t typically dig 18 round holes strategically throughout the complex so we had to get inventive. Trees, baseball bases, boulders, and buildings became our “holes”. Old remnants of a bonfire became a hole known as Rick’s Lung (named after William’s dad who had a penchant for smoking a few hundred cigarettes a day). After a few hours on our golf course we would head to Wendy’s and grab some burgers and head to the pool. A pretty nice day if I do say so myself.

So, yes fellow businessmen, I do play golf. But my answer to that question is long, confusing, and childish. So I typically just hang my head in shame and answer, “No, no I do not play golf”.